Accepting life's challenges: Learn from the Kauri Tree.

4 ways to be like the Kauri Tree when learning to accept difficult thoughts & feelings

"Te kauri tuu wao"/a kauri in the forest

We can learn a lot about acceptance by looking at how the Kauri tree weathers the many storms it will see in its lifetime.

Working as a Health Improvement Practitioner in Aotearoa, I love using Acceptance Commitment Therapy with people to help them try new ways of dealing with things we all struggle with. In Acceptance Commitment Therapy, we develop our ability to accept the difficult & unavoidable parts of being human. In this post I have focused on acceptance of difficult thoughts and feelings, but we could also include acceptance of difficult memories, urges & sensations.

If we are able to cultivate acceptance, we are more likely to commit to living the life that is important to us, be the person we want to be, with the presence of difficult thoughts & feelings. Rather than feeling like we can only live a life that is important, or be the person we want to be once we get rid of difficult thoughts & feelings.

Acknowledge - Let the Storm Be

Just like the Kauri doesn't resist the wind or rain, we don't need to fight our difficult thoughts & emotions. They come and go like the weather. We can say; "Ah, here's the storm." And let it be without struggle.

Allow - It's Natural

Storms are part of the forests natural cycles. Just as wind and rain are natural for the Kauri, difficult thoughts & feelings are natural for us as humans. "This is part of being alive." We don't need to push them away.

"This is not about liking or wanting painful experiences, but about having them without struggling to get rid of them" – Russ Harris

Accommodate - Hold with Care

When a storm comes, the kauri bends, sways and adjusts. It makes space for the storm. We can hold our pain like we'd hold a crying child - gently, with compassion. "I can make space for this."

Appreciate - Grow Through It

The storm helps the Kauri grow stronger roots and a tougher trunk. Our challenges can help us grow too - they show us what matters, build resilience and deepen our understanding. "This pain is part of my growth."

Give it a go...

We are often told that to be happy is the aim and we should therefore be happy at all times. Usually, we are told, happiness at all times requires the absence of difficult thoughts & feelings. It is no surprise then, that acceptance of difficult thoughts & feelings can therefore feel a bit unfamiliar, but I have seen its power again and again in practice.

I am slowly learning to cultivate it in my own life with daily practice. I have found it helpful. Try it and see how it works for you. If you don't warm to it, leave it behind. If you like the results, add it to your Kete.